Relational needs frustration: an observational study on the role of negative (dis)engaging emotions

Abstract

The present study aimed to explore the role of partners’ negative engaging and disengaging emotions in dealing with the frustration of autonomy and relatedness needs during conflict. In an observational study, partners from 141 heterosexual couples participated in a conflict interaction task followed by a video-mediated recall procedure during which they reported their level of relational need frustration and their emotions experienced at different moments during the interaction. Results showed that in partners, more autonomy frustration, experienced at the beginning of the conflict, was accompanied by more concurrent negative disengaging emotions (anger, irritation), whereas more relatedness frustration was accompanied by more negative engaging emotions (hurt, sadness, disappointment). Additionally, the concurrent association between partners’ relatedness frustration and their experience of negative engaging emotions was negatively moderated by their own relatedness relationship beliefs (as assessed by background questionnaires), indicating that for individuals who considered relatedness to be less important, relatedness frustration and negative engaging emotions were more strongly linked than for people with high relatedness beliefs. Finally, negative engaging emotions – assessed at the beginning of the conflict – were associated with more relatedness frustration at a subsequent time point in the interaction in men, but not in women. This study contributes to our understanding of how partners’ negative emotions and the frustration of important relational needs are intertwined.